Dream ~ Act ~ Plan ~ Believe

After the last three posts I figured this blog needed a little more positive energy. So now is the perfect time for part 2 of the things that enrich my soul and delight by heart.

1. The cry of a newborn baby.
2. The smell of fresh-baked bread.
3. The sound of jingle bells.
4. The sound of the ocean, which I’ve only heard a couple of times in my life.
5. A thick vanilla milk shake. Yep, plain old vanilla.
6. Hearing my kids voices on the other end of the phone when I’m traveling.
7. Hearing, “Mommy, I love you.”
8. Tulips - particularly red tulips.
9. Gazing up at millions of stars when out camping.
10. Breakfast in the mountains. It never tasted so good.
11. Hugs from my kids. (more…)

    Posted on February 29th, 2008 by Leisa
    Filed under: Gratitude, Savoring Life | 4 Comments »

Our street was long and dark. We lived at the uphill end of a circle. My friend Shelly lived at the bottom of the street. I would often walk to her house. One side of the street had a grumpy old lady whom the neighborhood kids feared. We got yelled at if we spent to much time in her yard or we accidentally veered off the sidewalk when riding our bikes. The kids speculated she was a witch. Doesn’t every neighborhood have one of those? Someone the neighborhood kids fear.

So when I ran to Shelly’s house I usually choose to walk on the opposite side of the street. But that wasn’t really much better because of THE TREE. The tree was a very large pine tree and it scared me. It scared me because of what lay on the other side. You see I always pictured someone waiting on the other side of the tree. Every time I passed that tree I feared that someone would jump out from behind it and grab me. That was pictured vividly in my mind every time I passed that tree for years. And it was the reason why I always ran past the tree.

I was older now and it was the first time I had walked to Shelly’s house alone in the dark. It had just gotten dark and the seasons were changing. It wasn’t really that late, but the darkness permeated everything.

I remember being determined to not let the fear control me so I determined to slowly walk past the pine tree and not run as I always did. For the first time I wanted to be in control and not let my fear control me.

So I walked slowly past the pine tree. But then I heard them foot steps.

Directly behind me. They matched my pace. I glanced back and saw a masked man. He seemed to tower over me. But then again I as tiny, so he literally did tower over me.

I quickened my pace. His quickened as well. I glanced at the house we were in front of. No lights were on, but I noticed that the next house had lights glowing within. I ran. I ran up the porch. I could see into the kitchen, but no one was there. I so hoped that someone was there and could see me. I pounded and pounded on the door, and prayed. Prayed that someone would come quickly.

The man had reached me now. I saw his hands reach out for me. His hands were just an inch from my shoulders when someone walked into the kitchen. I remember thinking, “look up, look up” because my neighbor was looking at his feet as he walked through the kitchen.

But still it did the trick. The man fearing that he would be caught, jumped off the porch and ran into the back yard. My neighbor answered the door with a big smile and said, “Hi, Leisa.” But I was speechless. I couldn’t say anything. I just wanted to be safe at home. And what I did next still surprises me today. I turned around and ran. I headed for home as fast as I could. I ran home, closed, and locked the door, and leaned against it to catch my breath.

I want to pause here, in my life story, to point out that what I feared happened to me exactly as I imagined it. And it was one of my important life lessons, you attract what you think about, and you attract what you fear. I wish I had learned the lesson when it happened, but it wouldn’t be apparent to me until years later.

I wish I could tell you that this was the final traumatic event, but it was just beginning…

Posted on February 28th, 2008 by Leisa
Filed under: My Story, Trauma | 2 Comments »

I recently told you about my sixth sense or highly tuned perception and some it’s effects on my life. Much of what I tell you next is a by-product of that gift. You see, I learned to fear a lot when I was very little.

The fear wasn’t because I had a bad home life, in fact I had a great home life. It was because of the energy I felt around me. I didn’t yet know how to protect my own body and soul from the effects of my highly tuned perception and this led a great amount of fear. I was afraid all the time. I had a great fear of men in particular. That fear of men was probably due in part to that man in the mall I told you about earlier.

Now, if you’ve studied anything about the law of attraction you know that you attract to yourself what you think about and that your feelings greatly affect the speed that things come to you. If you haven’t heard about the law of attraction yet, then let me tell you about how I first learned about it. What I learned has proved to be a highly valuable lesson.

The first signs of stress…

The first signs of illness appeared when I was just six years old. I developed a cough. The doctors had no explanation for it. At that point in time the asthma I developed later in life wasn’t apparent. I simply coughed and coughed. Almost 40 years later I still cough, but not as much. Personally I believe that it was my body’s way of trying to get rid of the toxic energy I was feeling all around me. It was the fear trying to escape.

The fear first manifested itself when…

(more…)

Posted on February 26th, 2008 by Leisa
Filed under: Law of Attraction, Life Lessons, My Story, Trauma | No Comments »

In my last few articles I’ve written about regret; those momentary feelings of loss, disappointment, or dissatisfaction with something in our life. I would warrant that all of us have experienced some type of regret in our life. Something we wished we had done differently, or perhaps not have done at all. It’s my belief that those who say they don’t have any regrets don’t mean they haven’t ever had any. What they mean is that they changed the focus, or their outlook about the specific circumstances. They learned from it. They turned it into a positive.

Changing one’s focus or keeping one’s focus on what is important is the key to recovery, and the key to achieving happiness. Focusing on regrets, focusing on what’s not working in our life leads to depression. My mom always said that anyone can think themselves into a depression. Everyone has had things happen to them, or has done things that could get them down. But focusing on the past, focusing on our failings doesn’t help at all. Choosing to focus on our short-comings, or negative experiences can lead a happy person to a state of depression. (more…)

Posted on February 21st, 2008 by Leisa
Filed under: ADD-itude, Depression, Focus, Life Lessons, Panic Attacks, Recovery, Regret | 3 Comments »

If you have followed this blog since it’s beginning you’ve learned that I had been in survival mode for a couple of years. I was living my life fifteen minutes at a time. I was simply “in a state of being” a I tried to regroup after trauma and recover from depression.

It was a very strange place to be because I have always been one to have big plans, big goals, big dreams. I’ve always been the “type A” personality that is driven to succeed. And suddenly I found myself without any plans. I couldn’t see myself in the future because the future seemed to painful. It was a very scary place to be and one that can be dangerous for some people. I had lost hope. I survived because I’m not a quitter.

This morning I was looking back at the “lost years” with regret. I regretted the wasted time. I regretted the “quality time” I missed with my children. My years were wasted. Or so I thought.

(more…)

Posted on February 12th, 2008 by Leisa
Filed under: Beauty, Creating A Future, Gratitude, Loss, Raise Up, Recovery, Symbolic Healing | 16 Comments »