Again, it seems quite odd to spend some time focusing on the negative aspects
of my life because I am a positive thinker. However, it’s those challenges
and the lesson I learned, or have not yet learned, that have made me the
person I am today. It will help you, my readers, to better understand
where my writing comes from. So here is the first of several posts
that will take you into the trauma of the next twenty years of my life:
Illness Strikes
As I continue my story it is several years later now. I’m very, very ill. I’ve contracted some type of lung infection. I simply just cough and cough. I’ve lost weight down from 103 pounds down to 94 pounds. It’s gotten so bad that I can’t keep food down. My hair is falling out. I feel like I’m dying.
The doctors keep trying antibiotic after antibiotic, but nothing is touching the infection. Finally a new doctor decides to X-ray my lungs (duh!) and do additional tests. He discovers that the infection is quite rare and only one antibiotic in the world is effective against it. But he warns me that the antibiotic wouldn’t be enough.
It’s winter in Salt Lake City. We have a major inversion that is keeping the fog and pollution close to the ground and in my lungs. We haven’t seen a blue sky in months. The doctor told me I’d have to get to a warmed climate immediately. It didn’t need to be long term, just long enough for the antibiotics to work and for me to heal somewhat.
So we got in the car that day and headed to my grandparents house in Yuma, Arizona. I spent most of the time there sleeping. But I came back with much improved health.
Still the coughing and vomiting lingered for another twenty-one years. In fact, until three or four months ago I would regularly vomit five times a day. This had gone on at the past 18 years with consistency. Each illness made it worse. And no it wasn’t bulimia. I’d cough too hard and anything I had in my stomach would come up.
Automobile Traumatize
A few years later my finance and I are sitting at a stop light when a car plows into us. I’m injured and had to undergo months of physical therapy and experience pain that never seemed to go away. I’ve lost feeling in some of my fingers, and experience lingering back, shoulder and neck pain.
It Begins
Once I’m married as a result of the physical and emotional trauma of being raped I had difficulty conceiving. I finally did, but quickly knew something was wrong because of the pain. The doctors did test after test. They suspected the baby was growing in the Fallopian tube.
If that was the case it the tube would burst as the baby grew and if that happened it would be unlikely either one of us would survive. I was prepped for surgery. The doctors tried to determine, with a camera, where the baby was growing. They couldn’t confirm the baby’s presence anywhere so I was sent home with strict instructions to never be alone until it was resolved.
I’m lying in bed at my parents home. The room suddenly gets very black and I feel my body sinking. It’s a falling sensation, but I’m not really falling. In reality, it is very apparent by soul was rising and leaving my body. I’m going to die.
I try screaming, “No I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die. Get back in my body now! Get back in.” My soul obeyed. I was rushed into the second surgery of the month. I survived. The baby did not.
The doctors found a cyst had damaged my right ovary, and the baby had been caught in the left tube. My chances of ever having children were reduced.
Surgery Number Three
Two weeks later I am taken into surgery one more time to have my gall bladder removed. My third surgery in one month. My body is worn out and exhausted. My abdomen always cramping from intestinal pain and I can never get to far from a bathroom.
Another Pregnancy
About a year and a half later, still unable to conceive again, the doctors put me on fertility medication. A short time later I’m joyous to learn that I am again pregnant. But the pain is excruciating at times. It wouldn’t be an easy pregnancy.
I’d developed a lot of scar tissue and my intestines have fused together. As the baby gets bigger the pressure placed on the intestines do too, resulting in pain that leaves me doubled over and unable to stand up straight.
Another Car Accident
I’m three months along now in the pregnancy. I’m stopped behind a car that making a left-hand turn. I look in my rear view mirror and see a pick-up truck heading right for me. He’s now slowing down. Then CRASH, he plowed into me. I instantly lost all feeling in my left arm. The police arrive and I’m rushed to the emergency room. I’m hyperventilating from the pain and lose consciousness on the way to the hospital. Naturally I’m worried about the safety of the baby.
At the hospital I learn that the baby was OK. However, I’m not. Any recovery I had made from the previous accident seemed to have been erased in an instant.
Trying to Save The Baby’s Life
The abdominal pain, combined with the pain from the accident, left me hardly able to walk. I’m holding on to the wall as I walk, at least when no one is looking. But then I quickly let go and put a smile on my face when some passed. I’m a fighter and I’m determined to not look as weak as I felt. But still I have to stop and rest every twenty yards.
I’m still trying to hold down a part-time job. We really need the money. My husband had some bad luck with lay-offs recently. We were hurting financially. But I’m experiencing so much gastrointestinal problems that it causes the uterus to contract. I go into labor time and time again. Contraction after contraction threatens to abort the baby.
I’m put on bed rest. I’m on a leave of absence from work and spent my days confined to bed. The medication makes my eyes blurry so I unable to read or watch TV. I just lay there day after day. Unable to sleep for more than a half-an-hour at a time, and unable to do anything.
Further Complications
One day my bulging abdomen stops growing, in fact it seems to shrink. Sure enough, the doctor measured me, and I had shrunk. He sent me directly to the hospital. An ultra sound confirmed that the baby was at risk. The placenta was pulling away, and the amniotic fluid was practically non-existent. The baby is in danger.
The good news was that I was just three weeks away from my due date so the baby would probably be OK…
Clue for Round 7 - Second Serving Anyone?
Related Articles:
- My Life Story - Part 7; Fear Manifesting Itself in the Form of Rape
- My Life Story - Part 6; I'm Being Stalked
- My Life Story - Part 5; Someone's Watching Me
- My Life Story - Part 4; You Get What You Think About
- My Life Story - Part 3; Intruder Shatters My Vision of Being Safe at Home
- My Life Story - Part 2; The Law of Attraction at Work
- My Life Story - Part 1; My Highly Tuned Perception
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