Today was definitely not one of those days I hyper-focus. In fact, it was very much the opposite. I felt hyper-frazzled, and felt as if I was moving from one activity to another in a dream-like state.
The way I would describe it is almost a feeling of shock. I didn’t quite know how to describe how I felt a good share of my life until one day in a collage psychology class we were discussing the symptoms of the shock and I realized that they had described exactly how I felt much of the time.
In fact, I felt this way most of the time for many years - it’s a symptom of post-traumatic stress disorder. A feeling of being here, but not really being here because voices sound muffled, things seem gray and foggy.
This has been part of the road to recovery. I’ve had to learn to recognize the symptoms and do something to alleviate them before they get out of hand. Sure, they still sometimes sneak up on me. But I am more easily able to recognize the feeling and do something to alleviate it before it gets out of hand.
There are several things I know I can do to help alleviate these feelings and recharge my batteries a little quicker. But I’ll have to share those with you a little later - perhaps tomorrow. Right now I’m going to make a conscious decision to do one of the things that does help - rest.
I feel like I could curl up under the covers and hibernate until spring. So perhaps you won’t hear from me until then.
Oh wait. I can’t hibernate. I’ve got kids. I’ve got commitments. I’ve got responsibilities.
Photo courtesy of Jonnie Nord.
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